Susan K. Eitel-StacK, Ph.D.

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I attended University of Illinois for my undergraduate degree in psychology and then went on to graduate school at the University of Rochester. I received my Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology in 1996 doing research on the impact of stress and sexual harassment on students. I then began working in clinical settings until I had my first son. 

When my first son was 18-months-old, he had his first taste of peanut butter. He broke out in hives which we treated with Benadryl® at the suggestion of our pediatrician’s office. My son and I saw his pediatrician a few days later, and the doctor told me that the treatment plan was for him to avoid eating nuts. It sounded easy. I then asked for a prescription for an EpiPen® and a referral to an allergist. The doctor told me that no EpiPen® was needed; we just had to avoid giving nuts to our son. After I argued for the need of an EpiPen® and an allergist (if it was so easy to avoid nuts, why did people still have reactions?), the doctor said he would look into it. We left without a referral or a prescription. I was truly stunned. Although I knew little about food allergies at that point, I knew they could be deadly. To the doctor’s credit, he called me the next day and said I was right. He had spoken with a pediatric allergist and, indeed, my son did need an EpiPen® and to be seen by a specialist. 

The significance of that day at the doctor was just as important to me as my son’s allergic reaction. It impressed upon me that I would need to advocate for my son to keep him safe. If my son’s own pediatrician had to be convinced that an EpiPen® was needed, how would I get everyone else in contact with him to understand his need for safety? This set into motion my decision not to return to work, but rather to stay home and focus on raising and advocating for my sons. 

The next eye-opener in my allergy journey was when I took my son to a bagel shop several months after his diagnosis. We had eaten at bagel shops prior to his reaction, and he had been fine, so I decided to go. I ordered a plain bagel, making sure to alert the server behind the counter to my son’s nut allergies. I then noticed the worker had peanut butter all over his hands, so I asked him to clean his hands due to the allergy. The worker looked at his hands, then wiped them down the front of his apron and looked back at me like he was ready for my order! We promptly left, and I started wondering how my son was going to survive in a world like this. My husband and I were not ready to keep our kids locked in the house to be safe. We wanted them to fully participate in the world. Education, preparation, and advocacy had to be the next steps. 

I have three sons, the oldest is about to graduate from college, the second is in his sophomore year of college, and my youngest is about to graduate from high school. Like many others with food allergies in their family, we also have auto-immune illnesses which add to the complication of managing food allergies. We try to be positive and proactive in dealing with food concerns but we also recognize that some days the struggle is very frustrating and it is important to focus on  mental health as well as physical health.

I  was very involved in advocating at my kids schools as they grew but now support them in advocating for themselves. It can be frustrating when I want to jump in and just fix things for them, but I try to remember that it is to their benefit to know how to manage things for themselves.

My book Adulting With Food Allergies: Navigating Independence After Leaving Home is a place where I have documented many of the things we have learned in managing food allergies in young adulthood. Young adults (and their parents) can use this book as a guide for their own steps towards navigating independence.